Cries From Within

Soar banner“I wallowed in silent tears, an inner dialogue, trying to find answers to understand why.”

Cries from within was my turning point. In this chapter (stage) I cried out my heart to God for answers. But He was silent and my circumstances got worse before they got better. I felt as if in a whirlwind. The tumultuous winds blowing, everything was coming at me quickly. There were decisions to make, people to see, places to go, and things to do. Frightened and trying to shield myself from the storm, I asked why over and over again.

There is Power in Asking Why…

Asking why can drive us to search for answers. In my search for answers I joined a support group and got connected to others that had gone through what I was going through. They understood me and were not judgmental. Reflecting was another way I searched for answers. Mostly I wrote. Things that I couldn’t say out loud, I could write.

Asking why can bring us closer to our belief system. My core beliefs, the very foundation of who I am had been shaken. This really scared me, and sent me searching the pages of the scripture to reaffirm my beliefs. Although my questions tested my faith, searching for significance in what I believed, ultimately comforted me with a measure of hope and peace.

Asking why may expose our vulnerability. Why didn’t anyone give me information? Everything I learned was second hand. Asking why uncovered a weakness in my communication. Something had to change. This was not a time to sit on the sideline watching others, and hoping they would honor my role as mother.

Asking why may bring us face to face with ourselves. Deep inside was more strength than I had ever known. You see, my safe place, my inner world where I retreated for years, had been invaded. Standing in the shadows, letting others speak for me was no longer an option. I had to speak for Leslie. It was my duty as her mother!

Asking why can open our minds to knowledge. A connection to my inner strength revealed something greater than my fears, my love for my daughter. Was it frightening? Yes! The fear didn’t stop me, though. It propelled me to step out, grab hold and learn how to do what needed to be done.

What are your cries from within? What questions are you asking? What is it that you can learn about yourself in this questioning period?  Purchase one of my books and follow my stages: A Personal Journey Finding Wings With Shattered Pieces.

Think about it and I’ll talk with you next week!

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A Life Changing Moment

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As promised, here’s my second blog post which begins my step by step story of finding significance.

What have you experienced in your life that has “most” shaped who you are and what you do?

Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments. They all shape who we are and may lead us to our purpose in life. How we react to what we face will determine how our journey progresses and how soon we reach our destination.

Phyllis and Leslie 002My greatest life-changing moment happened on Friday, September 11, 1992. My daughter’s compassionate choice to pick up a co-worker who asked for a ride to work ended in tragedy. Leslie was fatally shot in an attempted car-jacking while waiting in front of her co-worker’s house.

Shattered and thrown off course, this loss challenged my courage, strengths, weaknesses, and even my faith. I didn’t know what to do or how to act. I soon discovered that society had already painted a picture of how every action and reaction should look.

In this chapter (stage), my biggest take away is not to let society’s expectations define your emotional response in your situation.

Surprised by my expressionless demeanor (shock, disbelief and numbness), some people judged my tearless face, expecting a different response. One brave person asked what others were thinking, “Don’t you hurt?” What a question! I fell into the trap of thinking that love should act differently. “If I had loved my daughter more, I could cry!”

When the shock and disbelief released their numbing grip, guilt showed up tormenting me with its should’ve, could’ve and would’ve.

What an ‘aha’ moment when I internalized the power in our uniqueness. We are all different. And our response to an experience whether happy or sad, good or bad can only be individualized not generalized. Therefore, the standard of measurement is personal.

In any situation, finding significance is seldom a straight line. We are confronted with twists and turns; and blows that may break us in the core of the very areas that need strengthening; often reopening unresolved issues of our past.

Even at the most vulnerable stage of my grief, my unfilled potential screamed out for attention. It was those recurring thoughts of “always a caterpillar, never a butterfly:” A reminder of ever becoming, but never reaching the fullness of who I was meant to become.

How could that be a part of this?  Find out more next week.

Purchase one of my books and follow my stages: A Personal Journey Finding Wings With Shattered Pieces.


Posted in Blog

Welcome To My Blog

Soar bannerHello, this is my first You Too Can Soar blog post!

I’m excited about making a difference as I share my honest and uplifting message to inspire you to soar. Choosing the right tone and words to get my message across is important. So, I anticipate getting in touch with “my journalistic flow,” real soon.

Well, here goes…

You Too Can Soar is my life’s slogan. Everyone has an innate ability to progressively learn to rise and fly in every stage of life. Fluttering many years just to survive, my true ascension began while grieving the violent and unexpected loss of my daughter, Leslie.

The loss stripped away all that I thought I knew and left only emptiness. Life became a mystery. Shattered and in a strange new world, who was I? How would I start over? Would I always feel this way? There was no inner strength to comfort my grieving spirit, and no words within or without to ask for help. I withdrew into silent aloneness in a world filled with happy people going on with their lives, leaving me behind.

During a quiet and reflective moment, I finally arrived at a crossroad: stay in this dark, depressing and endless night or step into the light of a new day! Courageously I chose the new day! But, how would it look?

With God’s guidance, I started a difficult and challenging introspection to find something tangible to hold on to. This self-examination liberated my metamorphosis, put me on a path to escape the stifling cocoon, and literally pushed me into flights of potential that I never knew existed.

My next posting will begin my powerful story of finding significance in a changed world: a new day. It is a story of shattered dreams, spiritual rebirth and thriving; a message of hope and inspiration that others may draw from as they ascend to maximize their true potential.

Each chapter (stage) will take you through twists and turns as my pain transforms into a catalyst for personal greatness: the extraordinary person God created me to be. Purchase one of my books and follow my stages: A Personal Journey Finding Wings With Shattered Pieces.

Talk with you again next week!


Posted in Blog

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